PlayStation Plus Complicated – Coming Soon

We’re happy to announce today that PlayStation Plus Complicated will be available at some point in the near future. Maybe soon.

PlayStation Plus Complicated takes all the simplicity and usefulness of two of our services – PlayStation Plus and PlayStation Now – and jams it together into one unwieldy, poorly named mess.

The good news is you’ll get access to more games – around 400 more games to be exact. The bad news is you’ll have to work out how to access them through a labyrinth of text designed to confuse and tease.

Without further ado, here is PlayStation Plus Complicated.

Legendary Edition

This is the same service you’ve known and loved for a decade. Only now it’s the worst possible option. Idiot.

Two games a month? Online gaming? Cloud saves? All the things you begrudgingly paid for are now going to be made to feel like a crap deal because we’ve introduced two more options above it.

Yes, I can feel your FOMO growing from here.

What’s more, if you have this service and feel the upset at now being on the ABSOLUTE WORST Legendary Edition tier, you’ll need to pay extra to upgrade. We will not reward loyal customers. Actually, loyal customers pay more.

Super Kickass Edition

Is Super Kickass better than Legendary? Maybe. Maybe not. We’re here for the games, not the names.

And games there will be. Four hundred of the best PS4 and PS5 games.

The value of individual games no longer exists, so we’ll be bringing them together in one giant catalogue at one tiny price. This is a wholly original concept.

The geniuses in our labs came up with the concept of an ‘Amazon Prime of Gaming’ during a particularly bad day when Amazon Prime was the only app working on our corporate dongle.

Our tragedy will work to your benefit, however. Finally the catalogue anxiety exclusive to Xbox will make its triumphant appearance on PlayStation. THE LIST WARS WILL BE EPIC.

Heavenly Edition

Remember that other service you never wanted? That’s now come under the PlayStation Plus branding too, and because this is the most expensive tier, you’ll automatically want it.

Heavenly edition uses the Cloud to bring you a selection of PS3 games that weren’t good enough to hold your attention in 2006.

Unlike 2006 though, you’ll only be able to play them online. This is what is known as progress.

We’ll also be acquiescing to a fan favourite request: PS1, PS2 and PSP games.  We’re hoping you’re excited enough not to realise you bought everything worth getting on PS1 and again on PS3. We’re looking forward to charging you again, only this time on a monthly rolling basis.

Hell Edition

This is exactly the same as the Heavenly Edition, but instead of rolling out our cloud service to new countries, we’ll charge you for retro games and nothing else. This option isn’t available in countries where we’re already capable of charging you more for things you don’t want.

PlayStation Plus Complicated – Conclusion

Seriously though, add trophies to the retro games and I’ll pay whatever you want for them.

I know I should be summing up the article, but I’m absolutely serious. I know it’s stupid. I know I can play retro games on every device in my home now. But I will pay good money to unlock a platinum in games I grew up with.

That is the true problem here. It’s not the ridiculous names or transparent tiering. It’s not even the rolling together of services in such a haphazard way. It’s the fact that there’s value to be had in this set, if PlayStation plan it properly. But the pricing justification just may not be there.